My sweet baby Jack,
I wrote a letter like this to your sister while I was pregnant with her so I didn’t forget to tell her what she was like before she was born. Hopefully you enjoy this little insight to your life before your life. J
Oh, darling boy, you are so loved. Your dad and I were so excited to find out we were having you! We’re really enjoying raising your sister and now we get to see what having a son is all about (well, I do. Your dad raised Justin already).
We started to suspect I was pregnant actually a few weeks before I was. It seems that my body was just ready to carry you. I found myself dreaming about being pregnant, feeling phantom kicks, missing the feeling (well, the good feelings). My senses started acting up like I was pregnant. I would smell weird things, stuff tasted funny, I was emotional. My body was gearing up for your arrival!
So, I’d been taking pregnancy tests for a few weeks wondering what was up with my bod going crazy. Your dad and Justin teased me incessantly every time I had something that could come anywhere close to being a pregnancy symptom. “I don’t like the taste of this rice.” “You’re pregnant.” It was crazy. J The funny thing is, I had my gallbladder removed supposedly after I was pregnant and they gave me a test before the surgery that came up negative! Weird, huh?
Well, there was one day after the surgery where I was just sure I had to be pregnant. My body was giving me way too many signals to ignore. So, I sent your dad to the store for a test (I’d used all the ones we had! HA!) and waited for him to return home. Of course, I’d taken numerous ones in the past weeks that all came out negative and I assumed that this one would be no different. However, I went upstairs, took the test, and VOILA! A positive. J I came down the stairs with this look on my face… like a happy holy-crap kinda look… and Justin said, “WELL? You’re pregnant, aren’t you? She’s pregnant. She’s totally pregnant.” Your dad looked at me with anticipation in his eyes.
I told Lily in her letter that moments like this are among those that you hope you’ll come up with something really eloquent and memorable to say and that I failed miserably when telling your dad I was pregnant with her. I said, “So, we’re gonna have a baby?” and it was totally a question. Well… I didn’t do much better this time. Turns out practice doesn’t make perfect.
I said, “Well, are you ready for another one?” What’s with the questions, Becky? Really….
Again, your dad didn’t disappoint with his reaction. He jumped out of his chair, took me in his arms, and kissed me a bajillion times while we both cried with joy. We were so so happy to know you were on your way.
Then, the “oh crap” set in. Being a parent of one is scary enough, but being a parent of two is really really intimidating. On top of that, I was just about to start getting my LLM at Emory Law, an awesome school, and we weren’t in the greatest financial shape. Your dad was working full time, around the clock, and busting his behind to provide for the family. However, with us living so far from school and work and the gas prices being what they were, our bank accounts would drain down to zero more often than we’d like to admit. Plus, I had mounting student loan debt, the expensive bar exam ahead, and we had credit cards to pay off. Needless to say, as happy as we were, we panicked.
However, your dad and I sat down and figured out whatever we could figure out. Sometimes the future is uncertain and that is scary, but that doesn’t mean that you should let it dull your joy over the great things in your life. We got ourselves a plan, implemented the plan as best we could, had faith, and sat back to enjoy the fact that we had a new beautiful blessing coming our way. We are so lucky to have you. You and your sister make every ounce of hard work we’ve ever done, every tear we’ve ever cried, every worry that wrinkled our foreheads, every second of stress and anxiety, every moment of uncertainty worth it a million times over. I am so proud to be your mommy.
So, here we are. I’m 26 weeks pregnant with you and we were ecstatic to find out you are a little boy! Your name, John Whitton, comes from your papa, John, and Bub, whose middle name is Whitton. We’re gonna call you Jack, though, so we don’t have to say “which John?” J You move around a ton, though not quite as forcefully as your sister did. She used to tapdance on my insides, where you’re more of a barrel roller. According to what I feel and we’ve seen in your ultrasounds, you’re kind of a sleepy little guy, not really doing much unnecessary moving. You also hate it when I lie on my left side. I’m not sure why, but you beat me up when I do!
As far as weird cravings or aversions, I haven’t had too many other than not being all that into meat. I crave cheese a lot, which is kinda odd. Mac and cheese, pizza, garlic bread with cheese, brie on toast, grilled cheese sandwiches, lasagna… OH! I forgot! You LOVE sausage! I crave sausage like crazy, mainly on breakfast sandwiches. Sometimes with syrup. J Oh my gosh, the smell of bacon or fish make me so sick… but I can eat them if I hold my nose. Weird, huh? The rest of my cravings are usually momentary. I’ll crave something for a couple of days and it’ll pass. Sausage and cheese are the only ones that have really stuck around so far. I also have ZERO interest in steak or chicken. Just pork, really! So strange. My appetite seems to swing to extremes. Either I can hardly eat at all or I’m hungry all day.
Health-wise, things have been fine with you. We’ve had a few scares. It seems that my blood contains this antibody against a blood enzyme called Little C. If your blood contains the antigen, my antibody could start attacking your blood cells and that could be nasty. So far, so good, though. There has been no change in the antibody level. Other than my hair breaking off and my hips killing me, everything is absolutely perfect.
We can’t wait to meet you, my darling son. You are such a blessing to us and we plan on letting you know that every day of your life. You’re gonna love your big sister. She’s a character. J
Until we meet, more love than you know,